


I can and am able

by SomeFuck9 (orphan_account)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, And an angst one, Au where john didnt die, Both baby and adult philip, Bottom Alexander Hamilton, Erotic letters, Exhibitionism, M/M, Minor Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Really both of them are versatile, Semi-Public Sex, There's like one fluff chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 22:55:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9464186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/SomeFuck9
Summary: A serious of events during the time of making and after John's decision to join Alexander in Congress after facing injury





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the one example that doesn't really match the description. This first chapter is more of a flash back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This first chapter is more of a flash back

“Alexander, I know this isn't a good idea” Laurens spoke in a hushed whisper, looking at him for some kind of sign that he wasn't serious. That that sultry look and “accidental” graze of the leg was just an elaborate, cruel joke. But Alexander said nothing, he only tied the tent completely closed and pushed Laurens further to the cot. Laurens easily fell back but pulled himself up to his elbows quickly before Alexander came closer, their hips meeting with one another. Laurens squared his jaw as Hamilton spoke

“Don't be so flustered, my dear John. We have done this a many times before. What gives you such tension tonight?” John pulled away from the hand Alexander set on his cheek. Even though he was angry he couldn't help the ever growing embarrassment he had for being so flustered when Alexander was so calm.

“What of the fact we are on the common grounds? In a tent… where I am sure every person will be able to listen in to our intimate moments together” Alexander seemed to ponder this before leaning in close to Laurens. He whispered on John's lips before meeting both of theirs together

“Then I suppose you must remain quiet, my dear Laurens.”

 

It was difficult. By God was it hard for Laurens to curve his tongue as hushed whispers came from other tents and Alexander placed himself between John's thighs. John was not one to be quiet when Alexander was on his knees for him. Just seeing Alexander in that position was enough to make John weak. John resorted to covering his mouth with his hands as Alexander and his mouth brought another man to his downfall. It was much more enjoyable to watch now when it was with actions rather than words however. It was not helping John's case how much Alexander seemed to enjoy the task either. John was tempted to force Alexander's face further into his crotch to erase his smug attitude but that would mean the removal of his hands that covered his mouth. Removal of those would most certainly lead to suspicions rising in the other tents. There were only two reasons that a man would be moaning another's name at this time and John was certainly not sickly. He would be thought sick for enjoying such an activity with a married man but he certainly was not physically ill himself.

John thought briefly to Eliza, then went on to see Washington as well. How many people had Alexander brought down and then tossed away? While no one was sure of the of what went on between Washington and Alexander, many assumed it to be similar to John and Alexander's _“friendship”_. Even though he should be quite offended at the idea, John could not find himself doubtful of the idea. Alexander had a reputation of being a “man whore” of sorts, seeing as how he flocked to many different people, men and women alike. John could have guessed so if he wasn't already aware by how knowledgeable Alexander was when it came to lovers.

Laurens felt as though he had been violently thrown back into his body when he became aware of the world around him once again. In his trance, Alexander had removed his mouth from John's crotch and climbed atop the cot. John now rested on Alexander's lap, looking down into his eyes hesitantly. Alexander continued eye contact, even as he moved John's hips closer to his own body. John shuddered as Alexander ground his hips up against John's own. He gripped at Alexander's long hair as he naturally bucked in response. Alexander chuckled and John looked at him with a needy expression rather than a confused one “The way you act would suggest that I have already quite fucked your brains out Laurens even though I've done close to nothing.” Laurens averted his eyes, embarrassed by Alexander's blunt words. It was always his words that had the most effect. They were after all, his best gift.

“Alexander..” John interrupted as Alexander was moving to push himself within him. He hummed in response to John, pausing before he would begin to take all of his words away. “Please do...I'm sure it won't be difficult with your passion” Alexander smirked and looked to John's eyes again

“are you speaking of what I said before? If so then my dear John, I had already fully intended on it” Alexander didn't speak any further. He only pushed himself into the man atop him. John cried out, unable to hold himself back from shoving Alexander's face in his chest. Alexander wasted no time in thrusting his hips in and out, gripping John's hips with a bruising tightness. John would have worried about his cries making Alexander go deaf from their proximity to his ear but his brain couldn't focus on much of anything other than the feeling of Alexander around him and in him. Even the fear of the other camp goers hearing left him as he bounced on Alexander's lap. “My- my dear John… I shan't grow tired of how much you enjoy this” Alexander's voice was shaky and it gave out with each thrust. John could only manage a call of Alexander’s name, looking to him with overwhelmed expression. Alexander smiled up at him lazily, kissing him again as best he could with John's movements. John, for a moment, felt self conscious about the fact he was an actual hot mess that was falling apart in Alexander's lap when Alexander only had his hair mussed and flushed cheeks. Regardless Alexander deeply enjoyed the image of John falling apart in his arms. He loved taking control of John and making him crumple to pieces under his will. He loved indulging himself on how John would allow him to be as rough as he pleased.

 

Alexander froze, leaving John reeling. John was just about to speak up when he heard the familiar crunch of snow right outside their tent. John felt panic take him as he looked between the noise and Alexander. Alexander pressed a finger against his mouth and John went wide eyed at the realization of what he was planning. “Alexander, you can't be serious!” John whispered to him. Alexander moved his hips closer again and gave a shallow thrust

“I'm afraid I am. Deathly so” he slipped his hand up and curled it around John's jaw, covering his mouth. The steps had stopped but they could hear two people speaking quietly. John wanted to push Alexander away but he knew the both of them found much more excitement out of it when there was the risk of being found out. The fear of being caught in such a compromising position only increased the tension resting in both of their guts. John nearly ripped out Alexander's hair as he continued to thrust harshly into him.

All the passion and anger in him always built up and was put into John. Every burning passion he had went into either his writing or John's body. Every anxious pang at being caught went into burying himself in John. John accepted it warmly, pressing as close to Alexander as their position would allow. Another person joined the two outside as Alexander finally reached his limit. Alexander pulled away his hand limply, panting as John shuddered from being filled once again. He thought of pulling away from Alexander before he grew too soft but Alexander moved ahead of him. He was always several steps ahead of John. He pulled himself out of John and once again lowered himself off of the bed and in between John's legs.

“Alexander, you don't have to do that. You already did so much work” John protested in a whisper but he made no move to stop Alexander. Alexander gave a lazy smirk before taking Laurens into his mouth once again. John let out a thin wine, barely able to keep his eyes open and stare at Alex. It was not the most beautiful Alexander the world had yet to see but it certainly was the most erotic John had seen. John scrambled to grab Alexander's hair once again, realizing the growing heat in his loins was suddenly becoming too much. Without any hesitation John called out to him, breathy and needy and all around too erotic to be confused.

“Alexander! Good lords…” John came back to the real world slowly, looking to Alexander with an apologetic smile. Alexander only pulled up to meet his eyes, wiping his lips as he swallowed. Something about even that seemed so kind to John. Alexander was not a kind and gentle man and yet John found himself often thinking so. “I apologize for being so late…” Alexander leaned closer to him as the whispering had suddenly stopped. Neither of them paid attention to it. They were both too focused on one another's hazy eyes. Alexander held John's chin firmly, kissing him after a snide reassurance “Good things come to those who wait, my dear Laurens.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the ending is??? But I'm sorry this took nearly two/three weeks. I hope this makes up for it? There will be more on the way within this coming week. If I don't update by valentine's, then I wish you all a happy one  
> (     ͡°      ͜ʖ     ͡°)

“Alexander?” Eliza peeped into the study, Philip resting on her hip. Alexander looked over his glasses and beamed at the two.

“Come in dear” Eliza smiled and stepped up to his desk. He raised his brows she handed an envelope over to him. She took a place in front of him. Alexander’s smile only grew when he saw John Lauren’s writing of his address in South Carolina.

“You seem rather ecstatic to be receiving that. We’re you awaiting John’s response?” Eliza spoke, bouncing Philip as he cooed gently. Alexander nodded, carefully tearing the seal

“Almost as much as the days I waited for your responses, dear.” He explained smoothly. He sat back comfortably as he unfolded the letter. It was uncommon to see a long response from John, so it filled Alexander with a childlike glee to see a whole page filled with the man’s writing. Eliza felt a warmth in her heart to see her husband so joyful. Her head filled with fantasies of how he must have reacted to seeing her letters arrive. He wouldn’t have been as ecstatic at the idea as Eliza was back then but she imagined a similar contained joy as now in him.

 

  
“My dearest Alexander,  
I hope this finds you in good health and in a happy home. With Philip, I’m sure it has not been a quiet one any longer. I’ve seen you work in worse conditions however, but your work is not what I worry for. I hope dearly that you are at times at liberty to set down the pen and enjoy your wonderful family. Judging by your last letter I would guess that you would rather me not go through the pleasantries. There was a sense of urgency in your tone that left me questioning whether you were in fear of being caught or were truly lost in your thoughts and were left aroused. Even so, I will shyly admit to you that your words had quite an effect on me and brought me even more eager to see you once more. Hearing your rather…shameful words gave me the urge to immediately transgress the bounds of South Carolina to you.”

 

  
Alexander smirked and laughed at John’s bashful tone in his writing. Even in only ink and paper, John was able to be the image of a shy school boy, new to such abrasive affection as Alexander provided. Reading his words, Alexander himself was pulled to write another indecent letter to the man before even finishing the letter. Eliza chuckled at his devious grin

“Dear, you look absolutely villainous with that smile” Alexander pulled his attention and raised his brow in a smoldering expression

“I think the look quite suits me, and you seem to rather enjoy it” Eliza laughed and turned Philip towards his father

“Look at your father. Isn’t he so foolish?” Philip softly babbled, reaching out for his father.

“Please Eliza, the boy shouldn’t see a man make such an expression” As he laughed, he returned his interest to the writings of John.

 

  
“I am ashamed to admit that I found an overwhelming pleasure from your writings of which I was forced to resolve on my own. I wish you would not write such explicit words as now my fantasies of you are torturing in their abundance. I find that almost every moment of the day I am imagining you here. Writing this I imagine you have a rather proud expression, as your intention was most likely to arouse me as you have successfully done. But as you have written in your last letter, I feel it is only logical to refute back with my own fantasies. A sense of revenge, or maybe a reward in your eyes."

 

  
Alexander felt a heat build in his cheeks. The imagery of John pleasuring himself to Alexander's own words already brought a pang of need to his gut. Alexander hadn't seen the home John was staying in, but his own head could paint the scene easily. John leaning over his bed as he scanned over Alexander's words. John grinding into his hand as he imagined it was Alexander who was touching him, whispering explicit things into his ear. Alexander blinked quickly, shaking away the image. He looked to Eliza as she stood, hushing the young Philip. He glanced between the letter and them hesitantly.

"I'll be back Alexander. Will it be a bother to come back as you are working?" Alexander smiled gently

"When I finish reading this and form my response I'll come back to the two of you" Eliza nodded and smiled when he gave a soft farewell to them both.

 

  
Alexander undid his collar as he looked back to the letter. The room was already warm enough with the summer heat but Alexander had a strong feeling that the heat he would get from reading John’s response would certainly make the room unbearable.

 

  
"In reading your letter for the third time, I imagined your very presence with such detail that it was as though a ghost of you was there. A ghost of you was making sure my legs stayed far spread as I read out your words. A ghost of you was palming me with agonizing pace as I begged the words of yours to happen. A ghost of you was milking out my small breathy calls of your name. I imagine that it was your own mouth I bucked into rather than my own hand. Reimagining it nearly brings me to my own knees. God, how I wish I could come immediately and meet your own touch. At my fantasies I fully came to realize how long it had been since camp. With the recruits I busied myself so I didn't notice, but in truth I have begun to ache for your touch again, Alexander. I will hope that as soon as I am able to free myself and come to you that you will free your time so as to properly sate my growing appetite. I feel selfish requesting it but I would love to take your time, even if it's just for a moment. To feel you near me would be enough to reassure me that you are real and do harbor some kind of love for me. Only if you would allow me would I bring my hands to the dangerous places on you they've longed to roam. Only on your allowance would I present myself on my knees in front of you. On your allowance I would bring myself to give us both the pleasure we have long since shared. Part of me does wish however to take you on without any allowance. Part of me just wishes to shove you against the nearest surface and milk out any noise I would be able to receive. To just suddenly disappear from the party, to grind on you while everyone wines and dines. It would be my greatest pleasure to just hear you gasping out and moaning wantonly as you grip aimlessly at the wall. Then you would pull me away only to push me up against the wall myself as you were. You'd chide me as you have before for being "too eager" and "doing something so extreme without even letting you say something in edgewise"."

 

  
Alexander licked at his lips. The room felt as though it were a furnace now. Alexander shifted, trying his best to get off some of the pressure in his gut. John wasn't even as descriptive in his language as Alexander and yet Alexander already felt a need to run his hands down as John had done. If John was speaking in truth when he said he had read the letter three times, was it similar each time? Was John so much in need that he had to read off Alexander's letter more than once? Alexander imagined John freshly undone, hot and disheveled. He would look down to his sweaty body and then feel heat wash over him again as fantasies of Alexander wouldn't subside. He would shuffle around, wanting to remove so much heat and need but till too sensitive to touch. He would whimper as he gently ground up against his own arm that was in between his firmly pressed thighs. The feeling was overwhelming but he needed it. With no one there to relieve him and being so busy, so much tension had built up that it would take a lot to finally satisfy him. Alexander let out a sigh, coming to grips that denying himself would be a fruitless endeavor. He stood, tugging off his breeches

 

  
"You would present yourself at your knees and begin the quick work of lubrication. You are excellent in the use of your tongue after all. You handle my thighs with great care, holding them down so as to keep me from squirming away. I wouldn't ever dream of escaping you but the thought is what counts. You'd pull away from me when I would reach the point of your own spit rolling down my thighs. You'd only grope me as I whine and beg you to fuck me senseless. “Please Alexander! It’s too much” I cry out. You’d bend me back to be up against you. You’re teasing would be so cruel but I'd still accept it regardless. Grinding up against me as I try to get the pleasure we both desperately need. I nearly fall apart when you just push into me. You'd stop for a moment in concern; I've never given such a violent reaction. Although I would think our first time would be considered much more violent. You'd take the hint however when I would push up against you, all around just needy. Holding my hips up to you with great force as you thrust in with harsh pace. You have always been so kind on me but I would love for you to treat me as though I was indestructible"

 

  
Alexander groaned softly as he bucked up into his hand. He almost wanted to thank himself for being so daring as to send an inappropriate letter to John in the first place. To hear John speak so foully and have such a dominating tone made everything ever so much better. John described things shortly and with much less effort. Even so, images of the scene John was painting could be formed effortlessly. Alexander was almost tempted to make a physical drawing of the scene, but he knew his hand in illustration was no where near his in writing. Alexander let out his puffs as he pumped his hand to the thought of John pushed up against a wall, sweat on his body and spit down his thighs begging to be fucked senseless. Imaging John, in his most needy of voices calling him on

“Please Alexander! I can’t stand much more of this! I’m sore and it’s so hot… my knees are close to giving out and you look so beautiful. I know you want this too… Just fuck me--fuck me until I cannot even think properly anymore, Alexander.

 

 

“From there your other arm would wrap around me in order to slowly rub my taint. You would whisper to me small things such as “You’re beautiful, dearest.” and “You must be quiet, John. I will make you if it comes to that.” You speak even though I’m unable to even find English. Words would leave me as you bring yourself in and out of me over and over. How are you able to always speak when we are together? Every time you’re so dangerously close I can’t find it in me to say anything, yet you can form worlds from your words in every situation.”

 

 

Alexander lost his place at that point. He had escaped such a thing before but as he grew hotter and hotter it became harder to keep his eyes focused on one line of the letter. After Alexander had read the same three lines more than ever necessary he gave up. He rested his head upon his desk as he moved his hand with a passion. He realized in this that he understood John’s struggle. Alexander hadn’t realized how much he was in need of this until John had written to him. He hadn’t thought of how much his body missed John until he had read John’s filthy language.

He was aching for John. Eliza he loved dearly and had dedicated much of his life to but the feeling of her and John were two very separate ideas. They were two prospects that regardless of how different they were he was addicted to both.

  
Eliza was soft and beautiful but she spoke firmly, the heart of a commander no matter how gentle she appeared. In John, Alexander could only see a softness. A sweet child new to everything Alexander would put him through. In thinking of how different the two were, he realized how attractive it would be for them both to snap. For Eliza to grab his collar and speak to him without mercy; or for John to force Alexander's to be even smaller than John himself and command him to only please John. That would be perfect. Alexander of course would protest at first, as expected, but he would give in to that tone eventually. Being ordered around by those he cared for, it did something to him. Just the idea of John or Eliza having full control of him could send Alexander into hysterics.

Alexander couldn't control his movements at this point. His hand moved sparatically and his mouth held back no sound or breath. In his dazed state, he couldn't be sure whose name he was calling. So many small pleas and moans left him it was hard to keep track. Later, all he could remember was his pleas to a John in his head. He begged the John of his imagination to never stop, to go harder, be merciless on Alexander's small body. This imaginary John must have complied, as these begs were quickly met with Alexander's climax. 

Alexander groaned and all but had a  _seizure_ at finally realising the tension in him. It was so hot. Alexander’s skin burned like the sun in John's South Carolinan home. Every part of him he either couldn't feel or could feel every last detail. The shaking in his knees, the tightness in his biceps, his pounding heart, he felt it all in stunning clarity. It took him some time to finally pulled himself up right. As he did pull himself up from bending over the desk, he found a familiar paper stuck to his forehead.

Alexander laughed as he pulled the letter from his forehead. Tenderly, he ran his fingers over the eloquent signature at the bottom that he recognized well. He set it down with the greatest care before pulling up his breeches and taking a seat at his desk. A grin tugged at his lips as he mumbled thoughtfully

"John Laurens, your words will truly be my death."


End file.
